I had plenty of moments where I started to compare myself to others and not just strangers but to friends as well. All around people were getting married, having babies and buying their first homes and yet here I was still living at home, plenty of student debt and still in school. I love to see my fiends doing so well but this year I struggled with the comparison devil. It wasn't even that I was jealous or didn't wish them well but rather it was making me put pressure on myself to do things that I guess I wasn't ready for yet.
The added pressure on myself just meant that every area of my life started to go down. My blog, education and even my health. Plus I started lacking the motivation to even fill in an application form since all I could hear was negative Issie saying how pointless it was to even bother.
I serious don't know where I was going with this post but I know that I wanted to share this message with you guys and I guess just encourage you and future Issie to stop and acknowlege it when/ if you start feeling envious.
Envy is a dark emotion. Its one that we hide away in our hearts and we don't want others to see because it speaks of a craven desire for self-sucess. We don't even want to admit it to ourselves because we know how wrong it is and how self-centric it is but its something we must do in order to move on from that emotion. Once you know its there you can find a way to leave it behind.
Feeling envy is normal but you should not let it take control of your emotions. It fosters discontent and distress and if left untreated it can cause you to do things you would normally do or even spiral into depression.
If you know me, then you know how much I love my lists and planning things. And this actaully helped me during my down days this year.
I also turned to the bible to help me deal with my dark moments. Hebrew 13 v 5 says
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have for God has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.”
And this for me really resonated and I am not a jealous person nor am I my envy. Being aware of these dark aspects of myself was a process and its important to remember that its not a case seeing an untidy room and tidying it up. But rather a process.
5 ways to deal with envy:
- Remember that nobody has it all and stop comparing your life with others. Its a losing proposition. We often compare the worst things about ourselves with the best things we think we know abut other people. Just remember that everyone has their own struggle, some just have a better way of hiding it.
- Celebrate the success of others.Life is not a competition.When someone get something you desire be happy for them and that moment you learn to rejoice in someones else joy is the moment you take your life back from the envy devil.
- Try and understand what it is that is making you envois. If its seeing people lives on social media then remember that everyone only puts their best foot forward. You are not seeing 24/7 of their lives but rather a perfect moment captured specifically to portray something and even sometimes sell somethings.
- That leads me onto my next point which is to understand that advertisers fan the flame. One of the most effective tools for them is to foster jealousy and envy among us. Be on your guard against this tactic. Recognise it and avid it.
- Finally, remember that god has a plan for you and though you might not know it at present he does. There is someone who has it worse then you. When, i spoke to a friend of mine about me feeling envious. She admitted to being envious of me sometimes. WHAT ME? but yes just like you are envious of others so are others of you.
But guys let us all break free from envy and experienced a more loving joyful fulfilled life because of it. That was just my hope and message for 2016. I hope and pray that 2016 is all our year. That we archive all that we set out to achieve and that we pick ourselves up and keep fighting when we have our dark down days.
I love y'all and I will speak to y'all soon